input has to be the output, the same as it is for any
other behavior that you can think of.
I'd like some help with my kids. One of them in
particular seems to give nothing but trouble. I even
think he may be a little backward. Can you help?
I'll try, but having never met the kids I don't really
know. A lot of kids seem like they're a problem, but
really they're not.
Many times parents tell their kids not to do certain
things. "Whatever you do don't kick the paint over,"
or another favorite is, "Whatever you do don't spill
your milk on the clean tablecloth," or I'm sure you've
used, "And whatever you do, don't come off your
bike." When children hear statements like this, they
have to actually do the thing in order to assimilate in
their minds whatever it is that you've told them. Then
you clip them around their ears and assume that it was
their fault.
Lots of children don't feel good about themselves
and there's quite a lot you can do to boost their self-
confidence. I remember a story that Milton Erickson
told. He was helping a little girl who lacked self-
confidence. Erickson was in his eightieth year. The
girl was nine. She was very shy and was not very
competitive and lacked self-esteem. Milton suggested
they play jacks together. Of course his hands were
arthritic and he never managed to catch any jacks.
The girl kept winning, but he kept trying to beat her.
This was the first time in her life that she had ever
won at anything. It boosted her confidence
tremendously.
After a few weeks he suggested they go for a
bicycle race. She was very reluctant but he
persevered, in the end she agreed. Of course he was
eighty years old and had great difficulty riding the