© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.You wait there for fifteen (15) minutes. No longer than this. If she doesn’t show up by
then (or call you on your cell phone), you leave. Don’t linger around outside or even look for her.
You go home, or to your next date. Later you can decide if there was enough interest and
promise expressed on her part to warrant a phone call, or if you want to ask for an explanation
of her rude behavior. If not, flush her and move on.
Unlike the first date, this meeting is not necessarily the one where you need to concern
yourself with getting a kiss. Though, if things go a little longer or you find there’s good chemistry,
you may wish to bridge to a kiss anyway. (See the first kiss discussion in the next section.)
The goal in this meeting is to watch for Red Flags. You want to know if she is unstable or
a flake as early as possible.
Let me put it in simple terms for you: If she demonstrates any qualities that you would
find alarming for a mother to your children, pay the check and run for your life. It’s much easier
to disentangle now, early in the game. Remember: your job isn’t so much about finding Miss
Right as it is avoiding Miss Wrong. Imagine what your life would be like with the wrong woman,
and not being able to leave because of children or money.
You’re better off alone than with the wrong woman.What do we talk about? ....................................................................................................................
I believe in the saying: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day; teach him to fish, you feed
him for a lifetime. I’m going to do both for you. I’m going to show you how to find things to talk
about as well as some specific things to talk about. (You’ll also want to refer to the Appendices
for more specific phrasings, etc.)
Start with the small talk questions, but only a few. You don’t want to get caught up in the
usual trap of favorite movie, favorite color, favorite TV show, etc. Ask her about her day and
then start branching out.
Here are some starter topics:
- Talk about someone in the entertainment news. There’s lots of good drama here.
- Talk about someone else’s drama that doesn’t immediately affect you. As long as it’s
not too negative, you can find lots of interesting discussion. - A general rule is to talk about anything that deals with the present or future, but steer
clear of the past for the time being. It’s old hat, it’s familiar, and it seems like the
usual exploratory topics that two people who are looking for a long-term commitment
would discuss.
The best way to learn the art of conversation is with a few simple rules. The first of which
is, ask questions. Don’t just ask yes-or-no questions, but open-ended questions, the kind that
will get a person talking about themselves.
- What was your major in school? What made you choose that?
- Where would you like to go in the world that you have not gone? Why?