© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.o First, you give an excuse for asking:
“The other day, I was watching a show on amusement parks, and I found it really
interesting how they engineer the rides.”
o The next part suggests some feelings for her:
“They talked about how they make rides that are thrilling and dangerous, but also
addicting. They give you that rush, like you’re caught up in a storm.”
o And the last part is the question:
“What’s your favorite ride? What does it do for you? How does it make you feel?”
These questions are very unique and engaging. They are also very potent, and should
not be over-used. But they can arouse some excitement from her if they are placed well and
she’s open enough to explore them with you. Add them in like a bit of spice in a pasta sauce.
Here are some subjects you should avoid discussing:
- No self-deprecation – do not tear yourself down (even with humor) hoping that she
will feel sorry for you and you’ll get sympathy sex. - Anything violent – fights, wrestling, rape, child abuse, death, hatred, cruelty
- Anything overly controversial – abortion, politics, race, or religion
- Why she hates her job
- Why she broke up with her last boyfriend
- Health problems
- Your income or affluence. If she wants to size up your bank balance, you don’t want
her. Even if she looks like Anna Nicole Smith. She’s got her copy of “Gold-digger’s
Monthly,” let her look it up. - Typical “date” questions that show no imagination. You must be different. Again, if
you trigger the usual “I’m looking for a relationship that leads to sex” script, you’ll
send her running for the exit. - Any sexual topics, unless she brings them up. If you go here too soon, you’ll seem
like the last three hundred guys she met who thought they’d hurry things right along
and get to the point. Oddly enough, these guys think that by bringing up the subject
of sex, they’ll get an early indication of whether she’s digging them or not, or if she’ll
be game for a one night stand. (See the Sexual Reversal Strategy below.) - Don’t talk about the past. If she starts asking questions about your past women, you
redirect the topic to something more positive and promising. No talk of how that “last
bitch dumped me!” - Don’t talk about your family except in glowing, general terms. You two have plenty of
time to compare dysfunctional family issues later down the road.
Here’s a big one that I’ve mentioned before, and it demands its own section: Don’t brag!
The biggest complaint I’ve heard from women is that men consistently take a topic that a she
has brought up and use it as a launching point to brag about their accomplishments. Women, by
nature, are very passive in conversation with men. Men tend to go into a conversation
aggressively, as if they’re talking with one of the guys. In male communication, they need to
stake their claim, prove their dominance, and so on. And they perpetuate this pattern with
women, not realizing that true self-confidence is demonstrated when they have the self-