© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.to it, trust me. I know. I’ve sat in silences that would make Tibetan monks freak out. But you
have to be strong and resist the temptation to let her pull you in. In most cases, she’ll come
around and understand that you are not going to let her rattle her cage. Even if the date ends on
her slightly aloof behavior, she will almost always be back when she realizes that you are
consistent and confident, and you have enough self-discipline to not be fazed by her moods.
However, if she behaves pissy and very stand-offish, to the point of almost being
disrespectful to you, you must call her on it. Never let her think she can get away with this kind
of passive-aggressive behavior. Tell her what you’re observing, as nicely as possible, ask her if
there’s something bothering her, and then see if she returns to normal. If she does not, you
must make a decision of whether or not to end this date. If you do not take a stand and call her
on her behavior, you’re demonstrating insecurity and lack of self-confidence by default, and you
will be penalized.
You can say something like: “You know, Betty, it doesn’t feel like you’re very
comfortable. Is there something bothering you?” She’ll say something to the effect of, “No, no,
I’m just in a funk...” You then say, “Well, I’d rather us not both ruin a possibly good evening. I’ll
take you home and we can try this again another night when you’re feeling a little better.” She
may protest, and it’s up to you whether you think the date will actually improve. If you think it
will, give her the benefit of the doubt. But if not, you must insist on ending the date. Chances
are, though, that once she’s seen that you recognize her behavior and are willing to call her on
it, she will chance her attitude.
We’ll cover this topic and your responses in more detail in the section on “Testing.”
The Dance of Attraction ....................................................................................................................
There is a pattern here that you need to recognize so you’ll understand why setbacks
occur and why they should not trouble you in the slightest. Inspiring a woman’s attraction is a
dance. You, as the man, are required to initiate. It’s a fact, and another of those Truth principles
I advised you about before.
Remember those old dance diagrams that show you the outlines of shoes on the floor
and numbers to tell you where to go? Here’s your dance pattern: The dance of interaction you
want to achieve with a woman is always two steps forward, one step back. (You choose the
rhythm, but I suggest slow.) For every two advances and initiations you take with her, you must
be willing to stop and step back, giving her space to breathe.
Stepping Back
It’s amazing what a little space to think will do for a woman’s attitude when it comes to
appreciation and recognizing what you have to offer. Most men are afraid to put this to work for
them, based solely on their fear that if they back off or let up on the intensity of their romantic
offensive on the women, she will lose interest and forget about him.
The opposite is actually the Truth. By backing off and giving her space at a strategic
point where you sense that she might be feeling a bit closed in and maybe even smothered by