© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.their life. So understand that your ability to keep things ‘casual’ with any particular woman will
depend first on her disposition (is she looking for more than something casual), and then the
frequency with which you see her. If you get together every month or so, you’ll probably keep
the monogamy beast at bay.
By keeping your time with her limited, you’ll be developing more response potential from
her. Your availability is in inverse proportion to her desire. The less she gets of you, the more
she’ll want.
Next, you want to be moving forward at each step in the game. You don’t have to try to
one-up every experience you have, but you should be making each meeting move deliberately
forward with respect to the building of attraction between you. At the end of the first date, you
must go for a kiss. At the end of the second, you may want to shoot for some prolonged kissing
and evocative touching. From there, you progress into more of the same, including some even
more erotic touching and removing clothes. Eventually, you will get to the point of going to bed
with her. The steps are as follows:
- First meeting – decide on attraction/interest
- Second meeting, kiss
- Third meeting, extended kissing, more seductive behavior, light touching
- Fourth meeting, even more kissing, more erotic touching, possibly removing
clothes - Heavy touching, moving toward sex. Relocate to the bedroom.
Along this progression, you must be dancing the steps I told you about – two forward,
one back; two forward, one back. This way you will be building up her attraction, yet never
coming on too strong. Now, these steps that you take forward must always be in proportion to
the attraction between you. If you are with a cautious and slower moving woman, your steps will
be shorter and slower. If she is much more open and willing, your steps will be longer and
bolder. Whatever you do, you must keep the progression of your romantic interests out front.
Another potential trap is when a guy starts to date a woman and he lets off the accelerator for
fear of creating discomfort. He stops teasing and starts “getting serious.” Soon afterwards, he
senses that things are rapidly de-escalating into a friendship instead of a romance. Keep
moving forward!
Another option is to use what I call “Tweener” meetings to keep things moving. Some
women have extremely busy schedules, and they are often difficult to work into yours. You often
have to resort to getting small meetings in between from time to time. This might include more
coffee dates and shorter rendezvous, like a lunch in a park. Again, stay aggressive on your
goal. Even short meetings can maintain your forward motion. Keep going for kisses and trying to
up the ante on your physical attraction where you can.
During the first sixty days of a relationship, you should keep things light and fun. Do not
come on strong. Keep your compliments to a minimum, give no extravagant or expensive gifts,
don’t talk about your feelings, and please, please, no romantic poetry. When you confirm what
you feel about with her, she has no room to fantasize and build her romantic infatuations for
you.