© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.“Now, honey, not in front of the kids.” Or, “It was never like this on ‘Leave it to Beaver.’”If things do get a little out of control and tense, acknowledge it with humor.
“Well! That was sure uncomfortable, huh? Wow, I’d hate to be me later.”The key is to use that sense of humor (and his brothers, the other two S’s) to keep
things loose and non-abrasive. When you get in private, you can then employ other strategies to
handle her anger.
There is another situation that arises with respect to arguments, and it’s typically when
the man finds that his grievances are almost always dismissed. We’ve all run into a woman at
some time or another who cannot accept blame or admit wrongdoing of any kind. In fact, when
you bring anything like this to her attention, she’s got a justification for everything. With this
woman, there’s nothing you can do to get your point across.
Mostly, this is a defense mechanism of a very fragile self-esteem. She guards her castle
and prevents any trespasses by locking her gate and never letting any criticism inside. As a
result, she comes across as overly defensive, and often self-righteous. She’s never wrong.
These women are dangerous to argue with at any time. Until you can find just the right
approach to avoid her slamming her castle gate shut, you’ll wind up spending many cold and
lonely nights in the moat. And even then, you always feel like you’re walking in a minefield. If
you encounter a woman with an extreme case of this syndrome, you should think about
collecting your coat and hat and head for the door.
Always keep an eye out for what is rational and irrational in arguments. Very often,
women will throw in the irrational, which you cannot argue with. You’ll trip over yourself and lose
your composure, and she’ll win.
A woman will always have a list of seemingly good reasons (excuses) for why she did
something or why something happened. Everything is justifiable to her. This does not mean it is
acceptable to you. It’s up to you to use your new perception about her behavior to see if you’re
being manipulated.
Joey is letting her divert the argument over to her offense. The point is that she’s trying
to justify two wrongs being right – that Joey’s oversight or minor error warrants retaliation. He
has to step back and not resolve her act of physical violence. Again, the simple solution is to
control your emotions and not be distracted by the feathers.
Also remember, just because someone apologizes for something, that doesn’t mean you
have to accept it.
Joe: “Anne, why the #&%@ did you slap me after we walked out of the restaurant?”
Annette: “So you’re mad that I slapped you? After sitting in that lobby for an hour
while you talked to your buddy from work? I was going to catch a cab. That was so
thoughtless!”
Joe: “But I didn’t ... you ... he ... DOH!”