The Dating Black book

(Dana P.) #1
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.

WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT .............................................................................................................


Ah, the age-old question. I think I’ve gone a long way toward answering this, but I would
like to summarize it here:


The Kind of Man Women Want:



  • Will make women think.

  • Will make women feel excited, sexy, and turned-on rather than bored.

  • Will prioritize his life and doesn’t let anyone walk over him.

  • Will make her feel important to him

  • Is not afraid to speak his opinion.

  • Keeps them on their toes through challenge. (i.e., the Three S’s: Self-confidence,
    Self-discipline, Sense of Humor)

  • Holds and maintains an element of mystery. (More challenge through slow
    disclosure)

  • Is spontaneous.

  • Gives them plenty of space and freedom, and keeps his own space.

  • Is a lover, not her son.

  • Is a Romeo, not a Fabio.

  • Is chivalrous. (i.e., he’s confident enough to give a woman what she wants.)


Women need many things from a man. These needs are the currency of relationships,
and giving them to her allows her to build up enough in her account to give you what you want.


You’ve been confused most of your life about what women want because they always
seem to be saying one thing while meaning another. To them, however, this doesn’t seem weird
at all. It’s how they communicate things they don’t know even understand about themselves.
Women don’t talk in code; they are just talking from a different part of their brain than the part
that actually responds to men. When she says she wants a “nice guy,” she’s really saying that
she knows the emotional part of her brain – the part without a true verbal language – wants
someone 1) who won’t hurt her (trust) and 2) who is attractive to her, not a wimp who has
trouble deciding what to order from a menu. She knows what makes her trust, but not always
what makes her attracted to a man.
A woman’s emotional mind is like a subwoofer: all resonance and feeling, but very little
of the sound from it can actually be understood or is intelligible. They speak in an abstracted
and indirect way because there is no direct connection between these “speakers” in their brain.


Here, then, are the qualities that a woman wants in a relationship. (Remember: Now that
you know, you can’t claim ignorance anymore. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)


 Safety – Trust
o Emotionally stable
o Non-violent
o Good character (isn’t “sleeping around”)
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