© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.TESTS.....................................................................................................................................................
The one thing a woman will do is to test your compliance. Her tests all focus on finding
out if you will do what she wants because she is a woman (with the sex you want) and if you are
a wimpy man who will do anything to get it. She’s not doing this because she’s some nasty
dominating woman; she’s doing it because she has to find out if you can be cut from the try-outs
as early as possible and not risk her heart. The sooner she can find out what you’re made of,
the sooner she can find out if she will be calling the shots in the relationship (boring) or if you
will demonstrate backbone and self-confidence (interesting and attractive.) It’s a power play,
pure and simple. She’s trying to establish a baseline of behavior (and respect) that she can then
accept as the norm from you, so don’t flunk these tests! Most women give these tests at a level
that is very sub-conscious, while others may test you on purpose. Make no mistake – you will
be tested at some point. You must stand up for the correct behavior or be forever lost.
Tests are also a kind of short-cut. Some women are more jaded and cynical than others,
but all are trying to screen you out of the process early so they don’t have to waste their time.
(This is something you are also doing, but in a different manner.) Her first concern when she
meets you is to find out if you are safe to be around, which includes emotionally safe. She
doesn’t give you her valuable affection and feelings if you seem like the kind of guy who will hurt
her.
There are two interlocked reasons why guys fail women’s tests:
- They don’t recognize tests for what they are
- They are afraid to call her on them when they do recognize them out of fear of
disapproval and rejection
If you don’t call her on her tests, you’ll end up in supplication, the kneeling pose of a
million wimpy guys, enslaved to comply with a woman because he’s afraid of making her mad. If
you prefer the other option – and I hope you will – you’ll start to point them out when you see
them. Remember, she can’t respect a man she can control and manipulate, and she wants to
respect you.
Your best defense is your sense of humor, backed with a lethal dose of self-confidence
when it comes time to act. Never react to anything. Always take a second to step back and
scratch your chin with a wrinkled brow. The time that you take to think could be what saves you
from reacting and making a grievous error.
To address the first situation, not recognizing the tests, let me give you a helping hand.
There are many types of tests a woman will throw your way. Here are a few of them:
- Changing the Rules Test: A favorite of women everywhere, this test comes as a
subtle influence over a situation that may seem harmless at first, but is a gradual
attempt to show her influence over you. The changes are almost always to meet her
convenience. Here’s what happens:
o You set an appointment to meet Denise at 7:00 because you want to catch a
local author at a bookstore. She calls you at 6:45 and asks you to come meet her
at another store instead of meeting her where you planned, and you two can
walk over together. This will probably make you late.
What do you do? The best thing is to refuse her offer politely and tell her that you