© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.- Test Questions: Do I look fat? Etc.
o We discussed how to handle questions earlier, and most of the test questions
you get are standard. I’ve included some of these in the appendices for you to
review. You may not always get the exact same wording, so look to identify the
test behind her words when she asks you variations. - Subordination of Your Priorities Test, or The Need to Change You
o This one is subtle and often very insidious. This comes up when you have a
hobby or a pastime that you enjoy that is a priority in your life. For some guys it’s
playing guitar, or fixing cars, or even watching football. A woman wants to
subordinate your priorities and be put on top, and she’s jealous of anything that
displaces her. The way a woman gauges how important she is to you is by her
ranking in your list of priorities. If she can get you to put aside something
important to you to attend to her, she’s managed to establish that she’s important
to you. The more she can, the better she feels. Unfortunately, if you consistently
escalate her above your hobbies, you will demonstrate no challenge to her, that
she basically owns you. You’ll also show that you have no life beyond her, and
that you are a wimp. If she isn’t satisfied with who you are right now, you’ll only
be in for misery as she molds you into her vision.
The best way to manage this test is to start by including her on your
hobbies right from the start. Defuse the competition. Make your potential
opponent your ally. By bringing her in on them, you establish that you are
a self-confident man with a life outside of dating women, and she gets to
take part in your reality. If she doesn’t show any interest in your passions,
you can decide if you want to continue dating her.
If she later opposes your hobbies and pastimes, you’ll need to be able to
put your foot down and demonstrate your self-confidence and resolve.
You tell her that you have interests that do not necessarily include her or
her approval. If she has a strong issue with this, you tell her that she’ll
have to make the decision whether or not she would like to keep you in
her life.
* This last tactic is very effective when it comes to demonstrating your independence and
self-confidence. When you can tell a woman that she is free to come or go, and that you
are giving her the initiative to decide what to do with her beliefs, you are making a
powerful statement. You demonstrate that you will not cling, and you are self-confident
enough to stand for what you believe in. If you can convey this in any confrontation you
have with a woman, you will always win.Beware of her reactions to you when you call her on her tests. Remember: Mommy isn’t
mad at you. She’s just reacting to your display of self-discipline and self-confidence, the same
way a child does when she doesn’t get her lollipop. She will cry for a few minutes inside, but
when she’s done, she’ll respect you more.