© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.LoserBoy: Does she like me? Where is she? Why
doesn’t she return my messages? How many guys
is she dating? Is she sleeping with them? Why isn’t
she sleeping with me...?ones we shouldn’t be with. Think about it: If you’re single, be glad you’ve
got opportunity instead of crying in your beer that you’re alone. Have you
ever seen (been) a guy in a crappy relationship? Everything is relative, my
man.- Make a list of her faults. This is perspective medicine. If you can stop thinking
of a woman as perfect, chances are you will be better able to handle your
moments of insecurity with her. - Keep a journal and/or a collection of notes. I do both, journalizing my day-to-
day experiences (much cheaper than a therapist, and more effective), as well
as keeping a document on my computer at home and work with motivational
insights and advice. Keep your perspective. Review these notes as much as
you need, and especially when you’re feeling the slide into insecurity.
Especially important is to find the strength to avoid your bad moods. Not that they won’t
come to haunt you, mind you, but you can’t let them take over and force you to dial up Betty at
3:30 AM some Saturday when you’re drunk.
Remember that every insecure mood you’ve ever had has passed by. Every one of
them. Don’t take action when you’re in a bad or insecure mood. By this, I mean do not take an
insecure action that could jeopardize an already unsure situation, like calling her three times in a
row when you get her answering machine. Resist the urge. Wait it out. It sucks, and you’ll be so
tempted to do something. It will seem so urgent. (See “Moods.”)
Don’t do it! Breathe. Hang loose. If it’s a good decision, you’ll still feel like doing it when
you’re feeling secure and confident again. You’ll find that your decision-making ability is much
better when it isn’t blinded by desperation or obsession.
Men also have the uncontrollable habit of wanting to get inside the woman’s head. You
know, one minute you’re wondering if she’s thinking about you, the next you’re imagining
scenarios that have your ulcers boiling and your temples throbbing.
Stop obsessing. Stay - out - of - her - head. If you cross over from thinking about your
personal space, your life, your confidence, whatever is immediately NOW to you and your
happiness, you’re in the wrong part of the field, my friend. This is a Downward Spiral of
madness that will spell your doom. Control your thoughts, or your confidence will vaporize. (This
is where the best advice I can offer is to not place all your hopes on one woman.)
What would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?Something else to know about confidence is that you can kick-start it by faking it initially.
Usually that’s all you need to get rid of the anxious jitters and summon the real confidence you
keep locked away under a veneer of imagined fear. Once you’re on the treadmill, you’ll feel the
upward spiral take hold.