marriage. As homosexuality is generally not toler-
ated among Muslims, gay cohabitation is relatively
rare and will usually be kept a secret. Only unusu-
ally open minded parents from Muslim back-
grounds will tolerate a son or daughter’s gay sexual
orientation and welcome a partner to their family
gatherings.
Among first and second generation working-
class emigrants from socially conservative Muslim
countries, parents may play a strong role in mar-
riage choice, and often continue to marry their
daughters at a relatively young age to somewhat
older men. Often in such families there is little
emphasis on birth control. The marital relationship
and family hierarchy may continue to follow home
country cultural expectations, with women rela-
tively isolated within the home. For more modern,
well-off, educated, and Westernized Muslims, age
of marriage, marriage choice, marital and family
dynamics, and postponement and spacing of chil-
dren will generally become more similar to those of
other United States couples.
Generally people from Muslim backgrounds place
great importance on obtaining a separate residence
for a bridal couple, even if a young couple tradi-
tionally lived with the groom’s parents for a period
in their country of origin. Sometimes, young cou-
ples are able to find homes near parents or other
relatives, especially in more localized Muslim com-
munities. Depending on class and level of educa-
tion, modern couples may live at a distance to take
advantage of career possibilities. Although rela-
tives may be scattered among the home country
and other countries abroad, generally they attempt
to maintain close relations through frequent tele-
phoning and visiting.
Polygyny, allowed in Islam although illegal in the
United States, does exist in rare instances, parti-
cularly among people from less modern, more
conservative Muslim backgrounds. Some African
American sectarian movements allow for multiple
wives. A second wife and her children may live in a
separate residence, although financial pressures
often result in common residency. People may be
cautious about revealing a polygynous marriage,
and a second wife may be presented as a sister or
other relative, rather than a spouse.
Although in past decades even middle-class fam-
ilies in Muslim countries of origin often had live-in
servants, this practice is rarely followed in the
United States. American Muslim households are
relatively self-sufficient, and members generally
attend to home and childcare work themselves.
Professional families may hire yard workers, house
cleaners, or other help, as is common among
the united states 263American upper classes and increasingly among the
middle class as well. People of Muslim background
are generally hesitant to hire baby-sitters or send
pre-schoolers to childcare facilities although pro-
fessional or wealthy families and women who must
work and have no other alternatives may do so.
In general, depending on different circumstances,
families from Islamic cultures are becoming in-
creasingly nuclear. As young people attend univer-
sity in different parts of the country and find jobs in
cities away from their parents, they may find a
spouse who is either from their own country of origin
or another Muslim country, or even a non-Muslim
American. Parents usually want their children to
marry a Muslim from the same country, but out-
marriage, especially among more educated modern
groups is not unusual. Rarely will a young couple
live with parents in an extended family situation
beyond a period of time that some less advantaged
couples need to establish themselves economically.
When parents still live in the country of origin or
when the spouse is not from the same background,
interaction and amount of time spent together will
generally be minimized. In the American environ-
ment, as young wives are more often educated,
have been enculturated into higher expectation of
personal autonomy, and work outside the home,
the influence and interference of parents-in-law in
their lives and decision-making is declining.
Especially among the better off and educated
Muslim emigrant populations, divorce rates are ris-
ing. Thus the proportion of households with a single
parent, especially a mother, is increasing. Although
among more conservative American Muslims pres-
sures still exist to prevent a female living by herself,
among modernized groups divorced and single
women often live alone.
Until recently elderly parents commonly lived
with their children, or one or more children and
their families continued to live in the parental
home. Such extended family households are becom-
ing less common in the United States. Among more
conservative, less advantaged groups whose par-
ents are with them and do not know English, par-
ents often live with the children. Among better off
groups, when parents come to the United States to
be closer to their children, they often live sepa-
rately. Even widowed mothers may live in their
own homes. Some families look for homes with a
semi-separate section or adjacent structure for
older parents. If they do not know English, older
parents may feel lonely and isolated, even if living
with their children, when the middle generation are
all out working and the children are in school.
Sometimes better off older parents living in the