110 Leading with NLP
What extra goals could you get out of it?
What signs can you pay attention to the whole time,
not just at the end?
How many different ways can you think of to get what
you want in that situation?
How can you think about the other person in a posi-
tive way? You do not have to like them or even be
friendly – you could view them as a teacher (you are
learning how to be more effective) or as a worthy
adversary (like a competitor in a sport).After deciding your answers to these questions, imagine
acting this way at your next meeting with that person.
See the meeting through in your mind’s eye. Better?
More comfortable? If not, generate some more options.
Make sure that they fit with your values. Sometimes
when I have done this process with businesspeople they
discover that actually they do not want to do business
with this other person at all and they can get what they
want in another way.
Finally think about your response in the first situa-
tion. Is there a place in your life where that would be
useful?This whole exercise is at the heart of good communication
with others. Your influencing skills as a leader are based on
your goals and vision, your ability to read the feedback from
others and the amount of choice you have in what to do.