The Definitive Book of Body Language

Eye Signals

Look Deep Into My Eyes, Baby

For a television show, we conducted an experiment using a

dating agency. A selected number of men were told that their

next date was well matched to them and that they should

expect to have a successful, fun time. We explained to each

man that his date had suffered an injury to one eye as a child

and that she was very sensitive about it because the eye didn't

track properly. We said we weren't sure which eye it was, but if

he looked closely he'd be able to pick it. Each woman was also

told the same story about her date and that if she too looked

closely she'd be able to spot the slow eye. On their dates, the

couples spent the evening gazing into each other's eyes search-

ing in vain for the 'problem eye'. The outcome was that each

couple reported high levels of intimacy and romance on their

dates and the likelihood of the couple meeting again for a

second date was 200% higher than the agency average.

Extended gazing can create intimate feelings.

You can also drive couples apart by telling them that their date
has a hearing problem and that they'd need to talk about 10%
louder than their date to be heard. This results in a couple
talking louder and louder as the evening progresses to the
point where they are yelling at each other.

The First 20 Seconds of an Interview

Many people are taught that, in a sales or job interview, you
should maintain strong eye contact with the other person and
keep it up until you are seated. This creates problems for both
the interviewer and interviewee because it's contrary to the
process we like to go through when we meet someone new. A
man wants to check out a woman's hair, legs, body shape and
overall presentation. If she maintains eye contact it restricts