Attached

Marsha and Craig’s story exemplifies how bad an anxious-avoidant trap can become. Craig didn’t feel comfortable with too much in ...

although studies have shown that they are more likely to do so than other attachment types. Phillip Shaver, in a study with then ...

LIFE IN THE INNER CIRCLE But sex was hardly the main concern for Marsha during the time she was with Craig. It constituted just ...

or considerate your mate is. You listen in on your partner’s conversations to learn what is really going on in his or her life. ...

being honest about what goes on behind closed doors. But we’re here to tell you that it does exist and it’s not even a rare occu ...

Many people who live in an avoidant-anxious trap have a hard time admitting to themselves and others that they are in a bad pred ...

the one to hurt you in the first place. An activated attachment system is immensely powerful. It is a very important reason why ...

time to get over a bad attachment, and they don’t get to decide how long it will take. Only when every single cell in their body ...

Craig—by explaining her point of view, falling apart emotionally, and excusing his behavior—she finally gave up hope. In our int ...

up to friends and family about what your relationship is really like. This will rekindle friendships you might have neglected du ...

your attachment system is distorting your perspective on the relationship. Ask a friend to remind you how things really were. Ev ...

PART FOUR The Secure Way—Sharpening Your Relationship Skills ...

11. Effective Communication: Getting the Message Across ...

USING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER After a few dates with Ethan, Lauren found herself very confused. On t ...

his puzzling behavior, she finally put two and two together. The mystery around Ethan’s conduct was not so mysterious after all— ...

breath, he collected himself and leaned over to kiss her. That was the last time his shyness was an issue in their relationship, ...

understand your needs and put your well-being first, your future together has promise. If he or she brushes your concerns aside ...

With effective communication, you might not be able to solve a problem or resolve your differences in one shot. But you can judg ...

thoughts take over, how they can stay calm and collected and assume the other person will react positively. In fact, this attitu ...

negatively, but you’re never sure if he or she is responding to your need or to your protest behavior. Say, for example, that yo ...