Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 183 Figure 10-2. The Dialogue Model breaks of our own Style Under Stress. When we see these or sim­ ilar ...

184 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Figure 10-3. The Dialogue Model yourself in dialogue by focusing on what you really want and then beha ...

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 185 Figure 10-4. The Dialogue Model To help others share their meaning, we Explore Others' Paths. We ask ...

186 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS HOW TO PREPARE FOR A CRUCIAL CONVERSATION Here's one last tool to help you organize what we've shared ...

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 187 Coaching fo r Crucial Conversations (Continued) Principle Make It Safe (Chapter 5) Master My Storie ...

188 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Coaching for Crucial Conversations (Continued) Principle Move to Action (Chapter 9) Skill Agree. Rui ...

pum N G IT ALL TOG ETH ER 1 89 SISTER: Please don't start with the guilt. I sent you money every month to help take care of Mom. ...

190 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Master My Stories You're telling yourself that you deserve more because you did more to care for your ...

PUTTI NG IT ALL TOGETH ER 1 91 You: Do you think I'm being unfair? That I'm not acknowl­ edging your contributions? [Prime] SIST ...

192 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS SISTER: So it's these expenses you're worried about cover­ ing? Could we go over these expenses to dec ...

11 A man surprised is half beaten. -THOMAS FULLER Yeah, But Advice fo r Tough Cases As we (the authors) have taught this materia ...

194 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS "Yeah, but what if I can't calm down quickly enough? I've been told not to go to bed angry, but somet ...

YEAH, BUT 195 emotions to the point that you'll go in with guns blazing-even if only through your body language. The Solution Te ...

196 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS The Danger Point Often couples come to an unspoken agreement during the first year or so of their marr ...

YEAH, BUT 197 FAilURE TO LIVE UP TO AGREEMENTS nYEAH, BUT... MY TEA MMATES ARE hypocrites. We get together and talk about all th ...

198 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS spent. Motivation to support the new plan dissipated, and the team ran short of cash. When teams try t ...

YEAH, BUT 199 but despite their genuine efforts, people still keep their distance. Often, people treat their leaders like celebr ...

200 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS then disagree with yourself. Let people know that all ideas are open to question. If you need to, leav ...

YEAH. BUT 201 Also, don't use your mistrust as a club to punish people. If they've earned your mistrust in one area, don't let i ...

202 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS ing to ... " If your spouse consistently seems unwilling to talk about his or her personal issues, lea ...