9781529032178

himself ). He made devaluing and degrading remarks about her. He compared her unfavorably to his “phantom ex,” Ginger. He respo ...

Studies have found that the same areas in the brain that light up in imaging scans when we break a leg are activated when we spl ...

From then on I was always anxious. I was preoccupied with his whereabouts and became hypersensitive to anything that could possi ...

pups, we can think of nothing but getting back together with our loved one. The fact that one person can take away all our disco ...

WHEN DEACTIVATING STRATEGIES ARE A GOOD THING Long before she actually made a break, Marsha had been unconsciously preparing her ...

questions, but a surprisingly simple yet far-reaching insight into the situation came from an unexpected source. FROM THE THERAP ...

Ask yourself what life is like for you in the “inner circle.” If you can’t decide to break up, ask yourself whether you are tre ...

When you get flooded with positive memories, ask a close friend for a reality check. Remind yourself that your attachment syste ...

PART FOUR The Secure Way—Sharpening Your Relationship Skills ...

with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back; avoidant people equate intimacy wit ...

11. Effective Communication: Getting the Message Across USING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER After a few da ...

answer as to why he wasn’t interested in physical contact, she did get a clear picture about their future together—there was non ...

were cared for as a baby: If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; ...

wondering what Serge’s particular issue might be. So, affecting a coquettish smile, she simply said, “Can I have a kiss?” Though ...

your well-being first, your future together has promise. If he or she brushes your concerns aside as insignificant, or makes you ...

different languages and exacerbated each other’s natural tendencies—hers to seek physical and emotional closeness and his to pre ...

important your well-being is to your partner: Does s/he try to get to the bottom of your concerns? Does s/he respond to the iss ...

being, together with Stephen Read of the University of Southern California, who studies the neural network models of social reas ...

whether he cares enough to listen to your worries, reassure you, and do whatever it takes to make you feel safe and loved. There ...

her best to make it happen. She also began to discover that more often than not, the reasons why people behave unkindly toward h ...