Attached

one who is a good match for you. But it’s much more than just a probability issue. If you have an anxious attachment style, you ...

(using protest behavior) until the relationship would reach a dead end. Later she would torment herself by turning things over a ...

term relationships since college—she wound up having the happiest, most secure relationship of all! Give secure people a chance ...

A FINAL WORD A final word for you—the anxious reader. There is no one for whom attachment theory has more to offer than men and ...

6. Keeping Love at Arm’s Length: The Avoidant Attachment Style THE LONESOME TRAVELER Most of us are fascinated with people who g ...

knew what he was up to—anyone who could sound the alarm if he got into trouble and was overdue—Alex answered calmly that, no, no ...

increase the survival chances of humans in a particular environment. The secure attachment style has worked best, because throug ...

free spirit. She gets involved with men—sometimes for more than a year—but then eventually tires of them, moves on to the next c ...

In the second part of these studies, researchers distracted the avoidants by giving them another task to perform—like solving a ...

TOGETHER BUT APART: THE COMPROMISE THAT SATISFIES NO ONE So how do people with an avoidant attachment style suppress their attac ...

their partners, flaws and all, to depend on them, and to believe that they’re special and unique—for avoidant people such a stan ...

DEACTIVATING STRATEGIES—YOUR EVERYDAY TOOLKIT FOR KEEPING YOUR PARTNER AT ARM’S LENGTH (OR MORE) Although Mike, Kaia, Stavros, a ...

Not saying “I love you”—while implying that you do have feelings toward the other person. Pulling away when things are going we ...

Joe, 29: “When I was growing up, my father constantly told me not to rely on anyone. He said it so many times it became a mantra ...

Another disabling thought pattern that makes you keep your partner at a distance is “seeing the worm instead of the apple.” Caro ...

what she perceived to be his countless flaws. Only after they broke up, and she no longer felt threatened by the high level of i ...

partners’ reactions to this rating process. Avoidant individuals were found to be less accurate than anxious individuals at perc ...

FOR “THE ONE” These are the two trickiest tools that you may be using to short-change yourself in love. You convince yourself th ...

forever lost. Sometimes you do try to resume the relationship, starting a vicious cycle of getting closer and withdrawing. Other ...

As you read this chapter, it becomes apparent that being avoidant isn’t really about living a self-sufficient life; it’s about a ...