9781529032178

THOUGHT PATTERNS THAT LEAVE YOU OUT IN THE COLD As an avoidant, you have a skewed perspective of the things that your partner sa ...

Another problem with self-reliance is the “self ” part. It forces you to ignore the needs of your partner and concentrate only o ...

occurs that contradicts this perspective—such as their spouse behaving in a genuinely caring and loving manner—they are prone to ...

feelings. In a study conducted together with Steve Rholes from Texas A & M University, they set up an experiment to examine ...

LONGING FOR THE PHANTOM EX, LOOKING FOR “THE ONE” These are the two trickiest tools that you may be using to short-change yourse ...

of your life,” now forever lost. Sometimes you do try to resume the relationship, starting a vicious cycle of getting closer and ...

As you read this chapter, it becomes apparent that being avoidant isn’t really about living a self-sufficient life; it’s about a ...

need intimacy despite your discomfort with it. If you thought s/he was great to begin with, you have a lot to lose by pushing hi ...

partner contributed, even in a minor way, to your well-being, and why you’re grateful they’re in your life. Nix the phantom ex. ...

7. Getting Comfortably Close: The Secure Attachment Style Writing about people with a secure attachment style seems like a borin ...

wife, Karen Dion, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, they followed over one hundred university students who we ...

Brenda, 27, a movie producer, acts as a social hub, knows everyone, and is always where the action is. She had one serious boyf ...

WHEN THREAT GOES UNDETECTED People with a secure attachment style, like Stan, are characterized by something very real but not o ...

the situation from escalating. Mentally flexible—They are not threatened by criticism. They’re willing to reconsider their ways ...

their emotions with you. Last, the secure party engulfs his or her partner in an emotionally protective shield that makes facing ...

stress and depression, and social support—and fewer hours with a nonparental caretaker. To complicate matters further, an idea t ...

relationships. If you are secure, you should be aware of this finding because you have a lot to lose by becoming less secure. Ta ...

system distract you—you aren’t addicted to the highs and lows of being with someone who keeps you guessing all the time. Unlike ...

ask about his ex”—giving the wrong people a second, third, or fourth chance. In Tanya’s case, she’d seen enough and found it poi ...

Secure people don’t always hook up with one another—they date and marry people of all three attachment styles. The good news is ...