Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

LEARN TO LOOK 63 learn to look To break from this insidious cycle, Learn to Look. Learn to look at content and conditions. Look ...

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5 They had ltved together {or so many years th at they mistook their arguments for conversation. -MARJOlUli KEllOGG Make It Safe ...

66 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Yvonne doesn't respond, he goes to silence. He pouts, says almost nothing, and avoids Yvonne for the ne ...

MAKE IT SAFE 67 The key is to step out of the content of the conversation. Don't stay stuck in what's being said. Yvonne exited ...

68 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS The best don't play games. They know that dialogue is the free flow of meaning-with no pretending, suga ...

MAKE IT SAFE 69 painful and pointed content means that you have a malicious intent. How can they feel safe when they believe you ...

70 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS is to get our way or manipulate others, it will quickly become apparent, safety will be destroyed, and ...

MAKE IT SAFE 71 Mutual Respect Will We Be Able to Remain in Dialogue? While it's true that there's no reason to enter a crucial ...

72 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Then they resort to pouting, name-calling, yelling, and making threats. Ask the following question to d ...

MAKE IT SAFE 73 others that motivates us to enter tough conversations, and it eventually enables us to stay in dialogue with vir ...

74 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS ones they themselves had employed. The "sins" of others were different from their own more because of t ...

MAKE IT SAFE 75 would hurt quality and potentially drive away your biggest cus­ tomers. Since you only had another hour with the ...

76 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Apologize When Appropriate When you've made a mistake that has hurt others (e.g., you didn't call the t ...

MAKE IT SAFE 77 The same can happen with Mutual Purpose. You can start by innocently sharing your views, but the other person be ...

78 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Of the two parts of Contrasting, the don't is the more important because it deals with the misunderstan ...

MAKE IT SAFE 79 Obviously Jotham still believes that Yvonne merely wants to con­ firm that their existing relationship is okay a ...

80 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS instance, at this point your assistant may believe you are com­ pletely dissatisfied with his performan ...

MAKE IT SAFE 81 You Try Let's practice. Read the situations below and then come up with your own Contrasting statements. Remembe ...

82 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Chatty teenager. Your teenage nephew moved in with you when his father (your brother) passed away and y ...