9781529032178

conflict occurs, enter the new information. This will help in your quest to break your insecure patterns. But moving toward secu ...

in finding ways to spend less time together. If you are with an avoidant partner, you are constantly being rejected and rebuffed ...

Eventually Alana’s relationship with Stan ended. She never really grasped that her fights with him were about something much mor ...

Natalie, 38, always dreamed of sharing her leisure time with her husband. After years of resentment and bitter fights over his ...

order to be with this person. There is a major difference between couples who are dealing with non-attachment-related issues and ...

10. When Abnormal Becomes the Norm: An Attachment Guide to Breaking Up Clay and Tom were enjoying a romantic dinner on their ann ...

instead of leaving, well, maybe they deserve it! Others believe that these people are reliving troubled childhood experiences in ...

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, allowing for the possibility that I’d misread him. Soon after that, he asked to go out with ...

My confidence in my appearance was another story. I felt insecure about my looks, and it didn’t help when Craig would zoom in on ...

an opinion. He interrupted the speaker: “Hey, listen up, my ‘genius’ girlfriend wants to say something.” Another time, at the be ...

someone else and leave, because I was afraid I’d never have the strength to leave him first. Luckily Craig found the strength. W ...

leave but never actually following through). Her attachment system remained chronically activated, at least during the first few ...

adventure but rather a deactivating strategy to keep them isolated.) In fact, in a study of married and cohabiting couples, Cana ...

that he was hurting her, then he could treat her as well as he treated everyone else. Marsha wasn’t aware that Craig treated her ...

usually “pleads the fifth”—choosing not to talk to you—you’ve become the enemy. Your only crime has been to become too close to ...

himself ). He made devaluing and degrading remarks about her. He compared her unfavorably to his “phantom ex,” Ginger. He respo ...

Studies have found that the same areas in the brain that light up in imaging scans when we break a leg are activated when we spl ...

pups, we can think of nothing but getting back together with our loved one. The fact that one person can take away all our disco ...

WHEN DEACTIVATING STRATEGIES ARE A GOOD THING Long before she actually made a break, Marsha had been unconsciously preparing her ...

Ask yourself what life is like for you in the “inner circle.” If you can’t decide to break up, ask yourself whether you are tre ...