9781529032178

6. Keeping Love at Arm’s Length: The Avoidant Attachment Style THE LONESOME TRAVELER Most of us are fascinated with people who g ...

years. “I’m absolutely positive,” he assured Gallien, “I won’t run into anything I can’t deal with on my own.” After parting fro ...

that of their offspring. To ensure the survival of the species under any condition that might arise, however, more than one stra ...

Are Susan and others with avoidant attachment styles simply devoid of the need to meaningfully connect with a significant other? ...

threats of separation. Only when your mental energy is needed elsewhere and you are caught off guard, however, do these emotions ...

back with him to his hometown in Greece. After more than ten years of dating, he still hasn’t found her. Tom, 49, married for d ...

Saying (or thinking) “I’m not ready to commit”—but staying together nonetheless, sometimes for years. Focusing on small imperfe ...

THOUGHT PATTERNS THAT LEAVE YOU OUT IN THE COLD As an avoidant, you have a skewed perspective of the things that your partner sa ...

Another problem with self-reliance is the “self ” part. It forces you to ignore the needs of your partner and concentrate only o ...

occurs that contradicts this perspective—such as their spouse behaving in a genuinely caring and loving manner—they are prone to ...

feelings. In a study conducted together with Steve Rholes from Texas A & M University, they set up an experiment to examine ...

LONGING FOR THE PHANTOM EX, LOOKING FOR “THE ONE” These are the two trickiest tools that you may be using to short-change yourse ...

of your life,” now forever lost. Sometimes you do try to resume the relationship, starting a vicious cycle of getting closer and ...

As you read this chapter, it becomes apparent that being avoidant isn’t really about living a self-sufficient life; it’s about a ...

need intimacy despite your discomfort with it. If you thought s/he was great to begin with, you have a lot to lose by pushing hi ...

partner contributed, even in a minor way, to your well-being, and why you’re grateful they’re in your life. Nix the phantom ex. ...

7. Getting Comfortably Close: The Secure Attachment Style Writing about people with a secure attachment style seems like a borin ...

wife, Karen Dion, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, they followed over one hundred university students who we ...

Brenda, 27, a movie producer, acts as a social hub, knows everyone, and is always where the action is. She had one serious boyf ...

WHEN THREAT GOES UNDETECTED People with a secure attachment style, like Stan, are characterized by something very real but not o ...