Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

START WITH HEART 43 Refuse the Sucker's Choice As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking yourself into a Suc ...

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I have known a thousand scampsi but I never met one who considered himself so. Self-knowledge isn't 50 common. -OUiDA learn to l ...

46 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS What you don't realize is that two of your friends are walking down the hallway in the opposite directi ...

LEARN TO LOOK 47 You can't believe how obvious this advice is-and yet you've never thought of such a thing. Weirder still, your ...

48 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS turns crucial, signs that people don't feel safe (silence or vio­ lence), and your own Style Under Stre ...

LEARN TO LOOK 49 is beginning to disengage and you're at risk of moving away from healthy dialogue? learn to look for Safety Pro ...

50 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS you able to absorb potentially threatening feedback so well? If you're like the rest of us, it's becaus ...

LEARN TO LOOK 51 under attack!" you think. Then you respond in kind. Or maybe you try to escape. Either way you're not dual-proc ...

52 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Masking consists of understating or selectively showing our true opinions. Sarcasm, sugarcoating, and ...

LEARN TO LOOK 53 "Sorry, I'm not going to talk about how to split up the phone bill again. I'm not sure our friendship can stand ...

54 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Meaning: I can't argue my case on its merits. "You 're not going to listen to them are you? For crying ...

LEARN TO LOOK 55 Frankly, most people have trouble pulling themselves away from the tractor beam of the argument at hand. Then y ...

56 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS You also play this denial game when you ingenuously answer the question, "What's wrong?" "Nothing's wro ...

LEARN TO LOOK 57 T F 2. I have put off returning phone calls or emails because I simply didn't want to deal with the person who ...

58 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS T F 12. If I get into a heated discussion, I've been known to be tough on the other person. In fact, th ...

LEARN TO LOOK 59 T F 22. There are some people I'm rough on because, to be honest, they need or deserve what I give them. T F 23 ...

60 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS T F 32. I find myself in situations where people get their feelings hurt because they thought they woul ...

LEARN TO LOOK 61 Silence D Violence D Masking Controlling o 5 (T) o 7 (T) o^6 (T) o^8 (T) Avoiding Labeling o 3 (T) o 9 (T) o 4 ...

62 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Ch 3: Start with Heart Ch 7: STATE My Path o 13 (F) D o 17 (T) D o 19 (F) o 23 (F) o 25 (F) o 29 (T) Ch ...