Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 43 even their nasty stories and ugly feelings-then they'll be more likely to open up. But what does it t ...

144 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS return to dialogue. Either they've seen others do it, or they've stumbled on the formula themselves. I ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 145 ing what they're saying. Unfortunately, since it's rarely fun to hear other people's unflattering stor ...

146 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS Encourage Others to Retrace Their Path Once you've decided to maintain a curious approach, it's time t ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 147 You shake the remote in exasperation. You've missed the entire setup! For the rest of the program you ...

148 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS to do so. Our cues are simple: Others are going to silence or vio­ lence. We can see that they're feel ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 149 to understand others' views. When we show genuine interest, peo­ ple feel less compelled to use silenc ...

1 50 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS "Really? From the way you're saying that, it doesn't sound like you are." We explain that while the p ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 51 The key to paraphrasing, as with mirroring, is to remain calm and collected. Our goal is to make it s ...

152 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS and aren't explaining why they're angry. When this is the case, you might want to try priming. Prime w ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 53 be? Is there anything we can do?" Nothing. Finally, he primed. That is, he took his best guess at wha ...

1 54 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS EXPLORING WENDY'S PATH Now let's put the several skills together in a single interaction. We'll retur ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 55 (You enter her room and sit on her bed.) YOU: I'm really sorry for embarrassing you like that. That w ...

156 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS From here, the conversation goes to the real issues, parent and daughter discuss what's really going o ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 157 you were both saying to realize that you weren't really disagree­ ing, but violently agreeing. Most ar ...

158 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS game of Trivial Pursuit-looking for trivial differences and then proclaiming them aloud. In fact, they ...

EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 159 SUMMARY-EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or v ...

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To do nothmg IS m every man's power. -SAMUl\L JOHNSON Move to Action How to Turn Crucial Conversations into Action and Results U ...

162 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS They have unclear expectations about how decisions will be made. They do a poor job of acting on the ...