9781529032178

calls, but takes his time about it; he’s interested in you, but lets you understand that he’s still playing the field. You are l ...

THE LAW OF LARGE NUMBERS—WHY YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO MEET AVOIDANTS WHEN YOU GO OUT ON A DATE There is one last reason you will p ...

Conclusion: People with a secure attachment style take a very long time to reappear in the dating pool, if at all. Studies have ...

was missing.” At the time, Rachel was dumbfounded. She didn’t understand why she was turning him down. In hindsight, we do under ...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FOLLOW COMMON DATING ADVICE? Say you decide to follow the advice of many popular relationship books. They ...

can enjoy the thrill and closeness you naturally project when you are together without having to consider your needs for intimac ...

yourself in order to please your partner, as so many relationship books advise, think: Can this person provide what I need in or ...

Your messages don’t get across—despite your best efforts to communicate your needs, he or she doesn’t seem to get the message o ...

absolutely devastated and couldn’t stop thinking about him for many months. She wouldn’t even consider dating anyone else becaus ...

As we discussed earlier in the chapter, there are a disproportionate number of avoidants in the dating pool. Another useful step ...

When you’re seeing several people—which has become very feasible in the Internet and Facebook age—it also becomes easier to make ...

When someone she was interested in started to disengage or act avoidant, she found it much easier to simply move on without los ...

findings, however, prove that there are many men who are far from being avoidant—they communicate freely, are loving and affecti ...

6. Keeping Love at Arm’s Length: The Avoidant Attachment Style THE LONESOME TRAVELER Most of us are fascinated with people who g ...

years. “I’m absolutely positive,” he assured Gallien, “I won’t run into anything I can’t deal with on my own.” After parting fro ...

that of their offspring. To ensure the survival of the species under any condition that might arise, however, more than one stra ...

Are Susan and others with avoidant attachment styles simply devoid of the need to meaningfully connect with a significant other? ...

threats of separation. Only when your mental energy is needed elsewhere and you are caught off guard, however, do these emotions ...

back with him to his hometown in Greece. After more than ten years of dating, he still hasn’t found her. Tom, 49, married for d ...

Saying (or thinking) “I’m not ready to commit”—but staying together nonetheless, sometimes for years. Focusing on small imperfe ...