Boundaries

261 it and how bad your parents were, that will somehow clear the account. Or you could “take it out” on someone else, repeating ...

262 Forgiveness gives me boundaries because it unhooks me from the hurtful person, and then I can act responsibly, wisely. If I ...

263 are bad.” It is the state Jesus died for, to put us into a state of “no condemnation.” Biblically, it is something legal, no ...

264 rescue someone who is irresponsible, you feel guilty. The list goes on. Guilt will keep you from doing what is right and wil ...

265 Stay in your support group. Guilt is not resolved by just retraining your mind. You need the new connections to inter- nali ...

266 overcome the world” (John 16:33). When you begin to do things Jesus’ way, you will encounter troubles—from both outside and ...

267 15. How to Measure Success with Boundaries J ean sat at her kitchen table, teacup in hand, amazed. It was an unfamiliar sens ...

268 showed up late for dinner, there wasn’t any. Think you could save some this time?” Jean laughed. “Last time, you never calle ...

269 subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar sig- nals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can ...

270 better able to be honest about differences and disagreements, you will be better able to allow your anger to help you. Step ...

271 At one time both Scott and Tammy thought their first church’s attitude was correct. They weren’t even aware that oth- ers co ...

272 that the holy, just God about whom they read in the Old Testa- ment isn’t so bad or scary. He just has very clear boundaries ...

273 emotional home somewhere. No matter how caustic the criti- cism, or how severe the rejection of the one we’re in conflict wi ...

274 teenage years, however, Helen inadvertently began to “tell the truth” about her family problem, in nonverbal ways. She becam ...

275 loving others, and you can’t love others unless you have received love inside yourself. Have you had Steve’s experience? Is ...

276 You took a risk to confront me. Who knows—I may even arm wrestle you for the chair!” Does this sound trivial? It isn’t. Give ...

277 that you’ve transgressed some important rules in your limit set- ting. Many people experience intense critical self-judgment ...

278 come to mind. This step deals with those extremely complicated, conflictual, frightening relationships. Straightening out th ...

279 Sometimes the large no will precipitate a crisis. Someone important to you will be angry. Or hurt. Or abusive. The truth wil ...

280 herself, “You didn’t give Paul enough chances,” or, “You’ve just got to stop being so thin-skinned,” or “But he works hard a ...