Boundaries

141 problem is. Marsha sensed that the friendship wasn’t as impor- tant to Tammy as it was to her. Let’s analyze the situation: ...

142 If worst comes to worst and the friendship atrophies due to Tammy’s unresponsiveness, Marsha has gained something. She’s lea ...

143 willpower, for they will always let us down. Paul cried out that he did what he didn’t want to do, and he didn’t do what he ...

144 It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt ...

145 This fact causes a built-in conflict. When we date, we have the freedom to say, at any time, “This isn’t working out,” and t ...

146 Question #3: What If My Closest Friends Are My Family? Boundary-developing individuals sometimes say, “But my mother (or fat ...

147 I asked her to describe the quality of her relationships. “Oh, I’ve got lots of friends. I volunteer at the church two night ...

148 9. Boundaries and Your Spouse I f there were ever a relationship where boundaries could get confused, it is marriage, where ...

149 worked out according to the spouses’ individual abilities and interests. Where boundaries can get confusing is in the elemen ...

150 Neither was taking responsibility for his or her own feelings and communicating them. We do not communicate our feelings by ...

151 “That can’t be the reason,” I said. “People don’t make other people angry. Your anger has to come from something inside of y ...

152 spouses will do more than they really want to and then resent the other for not stopping them from overgiving. Bob had this ...

153 that you are not going to take responsibility for her wants. You’re going to give as you choose, and she is responsible for ...

154 cards or tell her she needs to get a second job to pay the bills. These spouses all need to let the out-of-control spouses s ...

155 This is truly loving our partner and the marriage. The most responsible behavior possible is usually the most difficult. The ...

156 These are all examples of taking power over what you do have power over—yourself—and giving up trying to control and have po ...

157 Skin. Each spouse needs to respect the other’s physical body boundaries. Physical boundary violations can range from hurt- f ...

158 self-nourishment. The Proverbs 31 wife has a life of her own; she is out doing many things. The same is true of her husband. ...

159 Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in every- thing. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the c ...

160 set clear boundaries, the lack of Christlikeness in a controlling husband becomes evident because the wife is no longer enab ...