9781529032178

interventions. We developed a technique that allowed people to determine —in a relatively short time—someone’s attachment style. ...

The next time you decide to skip the Sunday morning cuddle in bed for a chance to catch up on your work—think again. This small ...

PAUL AND JACKIE’S KID-SIZED PROBLEM Though Jackie and Paul have been seeing each other for over a year and spend most nights tog ...

declarations. It doesn’t occur to him to ask Jackie if it bothers her that they are separated every other weekend. Though he say ...

preoccupations can be very damaging. Try to keep a number of truths in mind when you are in the midst of a fight: A single figh ...

Withdrawing. Forgetting to focus on the other’s well-being. Paul and Jackie’s conflict is really intimacy-centered and not of ...

Marcus’s reaction is: Secure Insecure Insecure tactics Marcus used: Secure tactics Marcus could use: Answer: Insecure. Marcus ...

Insecure tactics Daria used: Secure tactics Daria could use: Answer: Insecure. What’s the matter with Daria? He’s going on a sin ...

Secure Insecure Insecure tactics John used: Secure tactics John could use: Answer: Secure. Secure people aren’t saints! They c ...

know,” she says half jokingly. After an awkward silence, Steve replies, “Well, call me later if you want to go,” and hangs up. S ...

Instead Tamara’s thoughts were focused on assessing whether the new people she met had the capacity to be close and loving in th ...

Answer: Steve—Insecure. Steve tries to avert a confrontation or an intimate conversation and withdraws instead of engaging. He d ...

Secure tactics Todd could use: Emma’s reaction is: Secure Insecure Insecure tactics Emma used: Secure tactics Emma could use: ...

Secure tactics Todd could use: The secure approach would have been to show concern for Emma’s well-being by saying that he reali ...

Answer: Secure. Shannon avoids many insecure hazards. She refrains from generalizing the conflict. She doesn’t react defensively ...

Epilogue For us, the most important take-home message from this book is that relationships should not be left to chance. Relatio ...

But on second thought, we quickly realized we had bought into every possible relationship fallacy. Even we, with our professiona ...

terms of your attachment styles, you can now tackle this problem from a completely different angle. The third hard-to-shed misco ...

anchor, we derive strength and encouragement to go out into the world and make the most of ourselves. He or she is there to help ...

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS We are grateful to many people for helping us during the writing of this book. First and foremost, we thank our ...